» Thursday, October 20, 2005

Avian Flu

Asked for further details about this afternoon’s meeting on avian flu, the PMOS said it would be better to let the meeting take place first. However, what was important was that the NFU and the Government both understood where we were on the situation, because it was not a new subject, and there had been contingency plans and discussions for some time on this issue. It was important that we were both on the same page.

Briefing took place at 9:00 | Search for related news


  1. I do hope that the NFU shows more courage and common sense than it did over the mad cow affair. If they stonewall like they did then we’re in deep trouble.

    And who is this unfortunate Page that they are trying to get on?

    Comment by Chuck Unsworth — 20 Oct 2005 on 9:24 pm | Link
  2. Depends what you mean by DeepTrouble, Chuck. Ice caps are melting, Ozone layer’s ruptured, the Gulf Stream’s slowing down and Wales-sized chunks of the rain forest are disappearing every five minutes, its a wonder there’s any left really. Still, look on the brightside. AS long as the royals, the admirals, the fieldmarshals, the chief constables -sepecially motormouth Ian Blair – the government and all the other elebrities get their shots well in time this avian ‘flu might be just the thing we need.

    Imagine, a mighty cull of the poor, the sick and the old. Millions of useless citizens incinerated and ploughed into the earth. Imagine what kind of health service we could have if we allowed all the sick to die; imagine the scale of the pensions we could pay if most of the old people died; if we allowed the bug to take all the underlass, allowed those feckless enough to be living on council estates to be hoovered-up by Nature’s Dyson; and all those sad cases living on incapacity benefits in high-rise blocks, I mean, what is the point of them, drinking cider and eating beans from benefit day to benefit day. It would be a kindness to withold vaccine from dole-ees and pissheads and loonies and unproductive, vengeful people with whitesticks and wheelchairs, plastic limbs and incontinence pads; who needs them?

    There would of course have to be some shooting of internal refugees and looters and what have you, but, hey, freedom, like a fourth historic victory comes at a price.

    We must recognise the bird ‘flu for what it is; Mother Nature lending a hand to the NewLabour Project.

    All the survivors will be able to getafootonthepropertyladder, to choose private medicine -it’ll be cheap with all those sick and old people out of the way – to send their children to private schools and yes, to borrow enough money to get out of debt.

    Fear not, Chuck; when it comes we must welcome it for what the prime will decree it to be: in a very real sense a kind of a People’s Plague.

    Comment by Tasty Macfadden — 21 Oct 2005 on 5:05 pm | Link
  3. Now now, don’t be cynical; the government only the other day promised it would buy up enough Avian Flu vaccine for the whole country if it struck.

    Oh hang on, isn’t that a bit late, if it’s already struck?!

    Oh well, at least they’d have tried…

    Comment by PapaLazzzaru — 21 Oct 2005 on 9:46 pm | Link
  4. Please don’t rely on a Dyson to vacuum anything up Tasty!

    Comment by Colonel Mad — 22 Oct 2005 on 11:34 pm | Link
  5. One gets tired of reading reired military personnel rubbishing, if that is a word, the efforts of british entrepreneur/designer capitalists. Doesn’t matter if most Dysons like Lady Sir Dyson himself, make a loud noise, are impossible to manouevre and explode every so often, the thing is that Lord and Lady Sir Dyson have created many jobs for our citizens and then moved these jobs to Kuala Lumpur, there to benefit the governing Bondage and Spanking Party of Malaya (Pineapple Rings R Us plc, a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Central Intelligence Agency, Washington.)

    Its high time that we gave credit where credit is due and Brigadier General Dyson is probably twice the man of colonel mad. Throwing british workers onto incapacity benefit or jobseekers allowance, exporting their jobs to poorly paid former latex rubber operatives, becoming fabulously wealthy and being showered with honours is what its all about, isn’t it? Keep the home fires burning, as we say on Orkney.

    Comment by Tasty Macfadden — 23 Oct 2005 on 3:10 pm | Link
  6. Why don’t the journalists ask the PMOS

    "Is the government stockpiling freezers?"

    We are going to need capacity for a fair few dead bodies that can’t be processed rapidly. The ‘burn or bury’ industry is also going to be struck by the pandemic so the capacity to burn or bury will be seriously reduced.
    Is the government – as ever – going to be taken by surprise and say that "nobody could have foreseen the need for so many freezers"?

    A bit like the – pass more laws – "oh shit the jails are full" – "nobody could have foreseen that" – debacle

    Comment by Roger Huffadine — 25 Oct 2005 on 9:38 am | Link
  7. Actually the military will be on standby to:

    a) Quell rioting – probably martial law will be declared and rioters shot.

    b) ‘Protect Democracy’ – i.e. Cherie and the family, plus Blunkett and a few other trusted friends like Mittal, Ecclestone, Sir Cliff, the Hindujas. Anyone care to draw up the lifeboat list? Of course Brown will have to fend for himself, and maybe it will be the right time to dump Mandelson…. and,

    c) Bury the dead.

    No doubt the ‘Civil Servants’ (or are they ‘Government Servants’?) have already drawn up the masterplans.

    Comment by Chuck Unsworth — 25 Oct 2005 on 3:18 pm | Link
  8. Well as long as someone is doing well out of the government trying to scare the shit out of everyone, that’s just fine and dandy.


    And lest anyone doubt that the government is trying to scare people, one has only to cast one’s mind back to the unseemly haste the government arrived at the conclusion that parrot definitely DID have the flu; even before the tests were completed, if memory serves.

    Comment by PapaLazzzaru — 26 Oct 2005 on 2:40 am | Link

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