55 Comments »

1. my son has recently split from long time partner and has 2 children. we cannot get access to children at the moment as he has had a breakdown and is not ready to face children yet, but partner has advised that if he does not get over it then she will keep children away all together. any advice would be extremely grateful

   Comment by katie gilchrist — 8 Mar 2005 on 8:25 am | Link

2. tony blair has a lot to answer for i havnt seen my two children since august

   Comment by lee — 8 Mar 2005 on 8:37 pm | Link

3. What’s it got to do with Tony Blair?

   I have a lot of sympathy with Fathers for Justice but Tony Blair didn’t decided that fathers shouldn’t have access to their children - that decision is usually made by senile old judges. If you are going to blame anyone then blame the idiots who still continue the myth that its a woman’s job to look after children. Women have been fighting for over a hundred years to be treated fairly in law and if men want to be treated fairly then they should learn lessons from feminism - you don’t change anything by just complaining about the Government, you start by changing people’s attitudes and then the Government will automatically follow.

   Comment by Uncarved Block — 9 Mar 2005 on 8:36 pm | Link

4. Lets just wait and see how David BLunkett gets on with his access to number one son. That might make a difference.

   Comment by Roger Huffadine — 9 Mar 2005 on 9:57 pm | Link

5. hi,there is a presumtion in law and that extends to some mps as i found out,when me and my ex spilt that a child should remain with the mother.my solicitor even said it would be a waste of time going for a residence order,imagine if this same injustice was committed against women.in my case making mediation compulsory would have helped,i offered it to my ex six times she turned it down.it took a year for my case to come to court during which as a ploy my ex said she was frightened of me.the judge saw right through that and awarded all the contact i asked for.my ex must have been very scared as she moved a mile up the road from me.my point being peoples attitudes need shaking up which is what fathers for justice is doing long may they continue.the same as the womens rights feminists.done.i urge people to support them for fathers to get a fair deal.

   Comment by richard porter — 13 Mar 2005 on 1:53 pm | Link

6. My ex partner hit my youngest son of 6yrs old, so hard that he resorted to hiding in my flat and refused to go home. It wasn’t the first time she has slapped him hard around the face, thumped him hard and pulled him by his hair into something that left him with red marks. And she has admitted it freely.

   Judge decided I can no longer see my children, you should see the simpathy she got from judge.

   Fathers for Justice needs more support and I have the upmost respect for the way they bring things to the attention of others, and they have my upmost respect now and always.

   Comment by Martin — 20 Mar 2005 on 11:13 pm | Link

7. I fully suport fathers for justice. I think men are treated very badly by the family courts. My son has a 7 year old daughter, unlike a lot of dad’s he has had no contact problems.In fact just the opposite, her mother just wants rid of her, From her being 6 months old he had her to stay Friday night to Sunday night every week, he also has parental responsibility.His court order stated he could also have her for 4 weeks holiday per year.Then when he tried to get residency 18 months ago his ex said she wanted her every other weekend. she got 1 weekend in 4 but my son was refused residency. His ex has no time for the child,has never had her for the 1 weekend in 4 she requested and neglects her (not feeding her, not taking her to school, verbally abusing her)my son collected her at the end of July for 1 weeks holliday and she is still with him. when he took her back at the end of the week his ex informed him that she was being evicted from her house for anti-social behavior, so she could’nt have her back yet.. Tomorrow is the big day, his solicitor is going to go for an interim residency order. fingers crossed. This will be the third time he has tried for residency..My grandaughter continually says she does not want to go back to her mother, her mother assaulted my son in front of her because she had a letter asking her to attend mediation. She was given a Police Caution for this.. if it had been the other way around and my son had assaulted her he would have been carted off to magistrates court..It seems that everything mothers say is taken as being the truth and it is allways down to the man to prove otherwise. It sometimes makes me ashamed to be female. Keep up the good work.

   Comment by Betty — 24 Aug 2005 on 11:18 pm | Link

8. I am a Father of two children and have been seperated for just over a year and have not seen or heard from my kids since then. I was a Rugby Coach, School Governor and am now a Lecturer having been CRB checked 3 times I am without reproach. What is the justice in that? None

   Comment by Steven — 4 Oct 2005 on 4:26 pm | Link

9. My son,34, split from his wife as a result of her adultery after 13 years of marriage. Her reason for her actions was, "He’s nice but ordinary", They have three children and was also pressured into a vasectomy. He agreed to accept the blame and left the marital home to live in a squat above his shop without bath or shower as he thought this would speed up the matter. He runs a small printing business, in which he has the only skills. Naturally his wife wants her share and after the business has been valued, any offer made to her has been refused. The matter has now finally ended in their first court appearance where the goal posts were once again changed to the extent that he had no rights what so ever. Her claim will leave him without a business as well as having no roof over his head. This is what happens when a man tries to do the just thing for the benefit of his children
   Is this British Justice?

   Comment by Mr. J. Poulson — 11 Oct 2005 on 2:28 pm | Link

10. "Is this British Justice?"

    Um, in a word, yes!

    :o/

    Comment by PapaLazzzaru — 11 Oct 2005 on 7:18 pm | Link

11. I have been seperated from my ex-husband for two years now, and made it clear from the start that although I would be having both our children, he could have as much access to the children as he liked and when he liked as his hours of work were not conventional. I am finding now that this was to my detrement as he takes them some weeks and not others depending on his work. He has them overnight on school nights and drops them at school an hour early the following day, due to work committments. He never takes time to see them at the weekends. I have shared the transport, and have had to collect the children from the ends of motorways in order to expedite his jouney to work! More fool me! Instead of the situation gradually becoming easier, I am being taken advantage of. My ex sees himself as a f4j victim and speaks to me of his rights! I say that if he wants 50% rights then he ought to do 50% of the work involved in the day to day bringing up and caring for the children. I am not a child carer paid to look after his children. I am an intelligent woman who hasd given up prospects of resuming a decent career for the moment in order to care for our children. I am a person entiltled to a life too. Children are not there as a right or an entitlement, they are a responsibility, justice would be found in people believing this and not all fighting over their personal and selfish access rights! My ex thinks that he should have the children over christmas this year, he has always worked this period before. If hes not prepared to take responsibility at any other time then what makes him think he has the right to ask for this?? Justice?? It works both ways! I have sympathy, but the responsibility a mother has when she takes on her children as a single parent or even in a biased relationship, of which there are many, should not be underestimated, as I think it is being.

    Comment by V. Leyland — 18 Oct 2005 on 5:14 pm | Link

12. I have been seperated from my ex-husband for two years now, and made it clear from the start that although I would be having both our children, he could have as much access to the children as he liked and when he liked as his hours of work were not conventional. I am finding now that this was to my detrement as he takes them some weeks and not others depending on his work. He has them overnight on school nights and drops them at school an hour early the following day, due to work committments. He never takes time to see them at the weekends. I have shared the transport, and have had to collect the children from the ends of motorways in order to expedite his jouney to work! More fool me! Instead of the situation gradually becoming easier, I am being taken advantage of. My ex sees himself as a f4j victim and speaks to me of his rights! I say that if he wants 50% rights then he ought to do 50% of the work involved in the day to day bringing up and caring for the children. I am not a child carer paid to look after his children. I am an intelligent woman who hasd given up prospects of resuming a decent career for the moment in order to care for our children. I am a person entiltled to a life too. Children are not there as a right or an entitlement, they are a responsibility, justice would be found in people believing this and not all fighting over their personal and selfish access rights! My ex thinks that he should have the children over christmas this year, he has always worked this period before. If hes not prepared to take responsibility at any other time then what makes him think he has the right to ask for this?? Justice?? It works both ways! I have sympathy, but the responsibility a mother has when she takes on her children as a single parent or even in a biased relationship, of which there are many, should not be underestimated, as I think it is being.

    Comment by V. Leyland — 18 Oct 2005 on 5:18 pm | Link

13. Interesting.

    Would it be better if the ex-husband took an entirely different job which fitted more closely to the daily routines? And if so how would the resultant (smaller?) wage packet be divided? But perhaps the financial contributions are equal.

    School nights are five out of seven? How was the decision to have children arrived at? Why is everyone ‘entitled’ to ‘a life’ and what actually is ‘a life’?

    Comment by Chuck Unsworth — 19 Oct 2005 on 2:02 pm | Link

14. Just thought I’d update my previous comment, my son was given interim residence on 25th August. In the words of my sons female solicitor,the new judge hearing the case is like a breath of fresh air. As his ex had not filed her statement she was given an extra 3 weeks to do this, and court welfare reports were to be done urgently. A date for the final hearing was set (18th October) and everything was to be completed and submited to the court by then.My son did everything asked of him, meeting mothers social worker, meeting cafcass. However his ex did not file her statement, did not turn up for meetings with cafcass, did not turn up for meetings with her social worker.When my son arrived at court on 18th October he was told that because of this it would not be the final hearing. However when his ex was shown the evidence showing neglect,& the social workers report she decided she would give residency to my son.We are all overjoyed for my grandaughter.To know that she is loved and wanted,fed,clean and living the life a 7 year old is entitled to has made it all worthwhile.

    Comment by betty — 24 Oct 2005 on 11:47 pm | Link

15. Just thought I’d update my previous comment, my son was given interim residence on 25th August. In the words of my sons female solicitor,the new judge hearing the case is like a breath of fresh air. As his ex had not filed her statement she was given an extra 3 weeks to do this, and court welfare reports were to be done urgently. A date for the final hearing was set (18th October) and everything was to be completed and submited to the court by then.My son did everything asked of him, meeting mothers social worker, meeting cafcass. However his ex did not file her statement, did not turn up for meetings with cafcass, did not turn up for meetings with her social worker.When my son arrived at court on 18th October he was told that because of this it would not be the final hearing. However when his ex was shown the evidence showing neglect,& the social workers report she decided she would give residency to my son.We are all overjoyed for my grandaughter.To know that she is loved and wanted,fed,clean and living the life a 7 year old is entitled to has made it all worthwhile.

    Comment by betty — 24 Oct 2005 on 11:47 pm | Link

16. Oh it’s hard to tell, it’s hard to tell, when all your love’s in vain. I think Robert Johnson said that.

    Comment by Tasty Macfadden — 27 Oct 2005 on 11:27 pm | Link

17. and, more recently, Clapton has sung it.

    Comment by Chuck Unsworth — 28 Oct 2005 on 1:06 pm | Link

18. After a fashion. I did read a while ago that the Godly one was really fed-up because his new Ferrari was six months overdue. I guess that’s what you call the blues.

    Comment by Tasty Macfadden — 29 Oct 2005 on 1:33 am | Link

19. Today is mothers day.I havent been able to see my son for 8 years.I started by going to a solicitor who after a year of trying to get me some sort of access to my son….eventually declared it was a wast of time and money considering the law.
    What really get me about today is knowing that my son will be giving his mother a mothers day card….in it I hope he has written "happy mothers day mum,now please will you alowe me to see my dad"
    Angry and bitter? of course I am.My ex wife used our son to get at me and for 8 years I have blamed and beaten my self up with this.
    There is so much I have missed out out on with my son and I feel he has also.
    He has a new father now which I am thankful for…and yet very sad.
    I had a bond with my son that I never had with my own father….I find it hard to trust anybody,yet when my son came along,I had a sence of being inportant and I wanted to explore the world with him,do all those father/son things and we was on our way.
    But our marriage went wrong and we split.I found it difficult to come to turns with the breakup and was homeless,jobless and up to my eye balls in debt…..so to then have my son dumped on me in my tempory accomadation,feeling misrable and suicidal,while my then wife could go and see friends and work(from our home)was just a bad idea on my wifes part…she decided we should split,I should leave(she threw me out,with the threat of the police and her father)
    I was just so devistated,I had my buisness that failed and went bankrutp…which was the cause of the breakup.
    I now walk and try to live my life with the hope that when my son is old enough he will come and found me….but still beating and blaming myself.
    I never did anything at all to hurt my son…but now im starting to question whether I did and have just blanked it out.
    My ex wife will be recieving a mothers day card to day,from my son…..she is not a mother.
    Marc
    Ps sorry about my grammer/spelling…I wrote this down without thinking…I needed to get it off my chest….at least for today.

    Comment by marc — 26 Mar 2006 on 11:16 am | Link

20. I have read through many forums now on here after being sent the first letter from my wife’s solicitor stating that she is divorcing me on the grounds or unreasonable behaviour. not knowing what to do i called her solicitor and asked what that meant i was told i will know in due course and should seek help from my own solicitor which i have done. my wife and i had 1 child together she is (as far as i still know) pregnant to me she also has 3 other children by different fathers none of whom have any contact with there children what so ever. i have since learned that for some unknown reason she has put herself in one of those safe houses, and the picture she has painted of me around this community is worrying to me. i already have 2 children that i have parental responsibilities for who live with me after the mother went to live in the states. I know my wife was sexually abused as a child she didnt speak too much about it and was fostered out at a young age unwanted by her mother which i use as an excuse that she has been unable to settle in an area for more than a year the 3 other children she has have very poor attendance records at school and the eldest son is being tested for adhd and tells his mother he wishes she was f****** dead on a daily basis. I am going to try and get residence of my 9 month old son he was living with me when we split, my wife moved into the area and we were still seeing each other. everything is as much of a mess as it looks by the way i have typed it. So far i have found the social services in the area to be useless, they have taken onboard and sided with her without looking into any facts at all. my first appointment with my solicitor is tomorrow. there is so much more i could say but will keep an update on here if anyone else is going through the same and would like to see.

    Comment by dave — 17 Apr 2006 on 11:05 am | Link

21. Nobody cares about some miserable lonely bastard like you, least of all your solicitor. The first thing to do is walk away. The second thing is have a vasectomy. And the third thing is shut the fuck up. Social services have enough to do keeping old people alive without listening to some pair of fuckwits like you two. Get a grip man. Pull yourself to-gether.

    If you must burden somebody with your nonsense go and see a priest, they love all that shit. This site is for political comment. Not some lonely hearts club for emotional cripples. If I’d been living with you I’d wanna be in some safe house too. What on earth are you thinking about, fathering even more children with this lunatic woman ? You’re worse than she is.
    And anyway, even if you did get custody of the ones that are yours out of this little tribe what would you do when he or they played-up? Come on the Internet and tell a load of complete strangers what a hard time you’re having ? You sound like you’re a Liberal Democrat to me.

    Grow up, move away and try to keep your dick in your trousers for five minutes and not up some mental retard. You should be ashamed of yourself. There was a time in this country when people who impregnated the mentally challenged woulda had stones thrown at them in the street. You have messed-up two marriages and two sets of children already. Whaddayawanna do ? Run around the country breeding more? You are a bloody menace. That’s what you are. And the only people who would be interested in further developments in your horrible story will be people just like you. Only worse. I think Yoko Ono said that.

    Comment by john the revelator — 19 Apr 2006 on 2:18 am | Link

22. Dear Sirs

    I am writing this letter with respect to contact arrangements for the children.

    The current arrangement is I see my eldest son Shabaz (dob 10/09/1994) every Friday from 3.30pm till 8pm.
    I see all three of my children namely Shabaz Ali Shah (age 11) Sajda Aliyah Shah (age 7) Hashim Hussain Shah (age 4) every Saturday from 9am till 2pm.
    I receive two phone calls a week Monday and Thursday.

    Conditions attached to this are that only I see the children and no other family member of mine can.

    Initially I was seeing my children for two hours every Saturday with supervision until I made application for contact.

    This whole thing has been a terrible ordeal for me and my children since my wife has taken the very unreasonable and hostile steps of non-molestation, occupation orders and for residence and prohibited steps order. My solicitors wrote to my wife\x92s solicitors 0n 16th Jan 2006 in reply to her initial letter dated 12th Jan 2006 putting forward proposals for contact and confirming my agreement not to attend the former matrimonial home without prior notice. Despite that letter being sent by fax on the 16th Jan 2006 my wife made her applications without notice on 18th Jan 2006. See attached letters.

    There has been no intimidation, abuse or violence for my wife to have taken these steps.
    I have simply been involved with another woman in which my wife has been aware of for the past 2 years. She has not caused me or my family any problems during the past 2 years. It is only when I went for a 2 and half week break to Pakistan that on my return she became very hostile and started causing obstruction for me to see my children. I noticed she had also changed the house locks which made me feel even more insecure about the whole situation.

    The police was called on me twice when I returned from Pakistan and on both occasions no incident of abuse or violence took place. I simply wanted to see my children and on both occasions the police advised my wife not to waste police time if no incident has taken place, and that she should seek legal advice if she wishes to separate. I was told on both occasions that I could see my children as no proceedings were in place and that providing I cause no harm to my wife.

    It is highly unfair now that my wife has recalled petty disputes that have taken place in our marriage, grossly exaggerated them in order to get her way today.

    In 13 years of my marriage I have never had the police called on me nor had to ever go to courts. My wife has taken these very serious and malicious steps against me purely because I have been involved with another woman and now suddenly I am a danger to her and the children??? My wife has made very serious accusations against but never called the police nor dragged me through courts in almost 13 years of our marriage.

    I have a very beautiful and intimate relationship with all 3 of my children who are desperate need of their father. My innocent children are being used as a tool to hurt me surely the legal system can establish this as I am sure from doing my research there are thousands of cases where a woman has gone to extreme measures because her husband has found peace and happiness in another women. Children should not suffer in this and why does the courts allow a women to get away with her malicious ways.

    I can confirm that although I found the peace in another woman I informed my wife and her parents on numerous occasions that problems need to be resolved between us otherwise she will lose me. She obviously didn\x92t take me seriously and took me for granted. Despite her knowing that I am involved with another women I continued to fulfil my responsibility has a husband and most certainly as a father.
    During this time of approximately a year and half we continued living together under the same roof as husband and wife. We travelled to Pakistan together and on many occasions often went out shopping and spending time with the kids together. In fact and very importantly my wife went on a ten day trip to Syria where all three of my children were left in my care only. Surely if I was an untrustworthy father or irresponsible father she would have made other arrangements for the children. My wife has often left the children in my care whilst she has gone out visiting her family and friends.

    I have a much bigger statement regarding my past with my wife but at the current time I am extremely worried about my children who I believe are suffering at the hands of my wife. I would like to just mention a few recent incidents that have taken place that bring me great concern and has petrified me in some circumstances.

    1. My 4 year old son was found in a shop on his own in Watford were he had to cross a very busy road in order to get to this shop. We can imagine the consequences had my son not made it across that busy road. The mother was totally unaware. I have statements to support this finding.

    2. My 11 year old ran away from his mother\x92s parent\x92s home in Watford after my wife\x92s family were defaming me and making fun of my son for wearing his father\x92s clothes. He was found some time later on a street corner crying. I have confirmation from my son.

    3. On Sun 30th April 2006 Both my sons were left alone in my wife\x92s parents home who then left that home to get to a park half a mile away. I have confirmation from my son and statements from people who saw my children arriving at the park to play football.

    4. My children are becoming very upset with there mother for putting undue pressure on them about disliking me. Sat 1st May 2006 my wife asked all 3 children who they would prefer to live with, and although it is very wrong of her to put our children in this dilemma they all replied that they wish to live with their father. To this the mother became very abusive and swore at my eldest son in our own language and called him a pig for wanting to stay with father. When I received my children that Saturday morning they were all very upset and my eldest son began crying as soon as he saw me. This is torture for me and my children.

    My children have on numerous occasions complained about their mother neglecting them for example my daughter complains that her mother often leaves her in the bath unattended crying whilst her mother is busy chatting on the phone. My children complain that since I am not there any more their mother does not cook anymore but rather is feeding them junk food takeouts.

    Approximately 2 and half years ago my wife physically abused my eldest son to the degree that he had cuts and bruises around his neck and face. At the time I did not take the matter further as she was very apologetic put I warned her should it happen again I will report it. My son still gets abuse from her and is also bullied which has hugely affected his confidence and is living in fear.

    My children\x92s education has largely been affected in particular my eldest son and my daughter since my break-up. Copies of school letters attached.

    These are not isolated incidents they are frequent especially where the children\x92s mother is leaving the children without adult supervision. One day there could be very serious consequences which I cannot imagine and who will be responsible?

    I am very confident that the report that will be made by the caff caff officers will support me on all I have written and I am at the moment wishing to apply for residence/custody as I feel it is in the best interest of the children. I am by far a much better parent and hopefully there will be overwhelming evidence to substantiate that.

    Can anyone out there help me get my children back?

    Comment by Shah — 11 May 2006 on 3:06 pm | Link

23. I was in court for 3 half years fighting to see my son ,and once we pumped the case up to county court my ex was told she faces prison if she dose not turn up at contact center.she did what he said and once we spoke,it turns out that the cafcas officer denise biffin had not only been givin her legal advice and favour shed told her that my ex had to do what she tells her or she would be found in contempt of court.me and my ex are now back to gether and are happy and want this woman struck off she is bad news

    Comment by Roy — 22 May 2006 on 7:44 pm | Link

24. I was in court for 3 half years fighting to see my son ,and once we pumped the case up to county court my ex was told she faces prison if she dose not turn up at contact center.she did what he said and once we spoke,it turns out that the cafcas officer denise biffin had not only been givin her legal advice and favour shed told her that my ex had to do what she tells her or she would be found in contempt of court.me and my ex are now back to gether and are happy and want this woman struck off she is bad news

    Comment by Roy — 22 May 2006 on 7:45 pm | Link

25. Is there anyone out there giving support to us fathers with seemingly the weight of the law against us?

    All my life I have been law abiding with a true respect for the law. Since trying for cusody of my children I now feel that the law is TOTALLY biased towards the mother and the father is either ignored or any derogitary comments from the mother are cast in stone.

    I ended up in a court room with 5 women (one was my barister who was admittedly trying very hard on mybehalf) but my comments and concerns were ignored and despite unilaterally taking my children SHE was allowed to keep them!

    The law IS WRONG and needs campaigning on behalf of fathers.

    Any help or advice appreciated.

    nigeey@yahoo.co.uk

    Comment by Nigel Pickford — 7 Jun 2006 on 10:05 pm | Link

26. I get so angry as I am certrain that you all do to How ever picture this, its a dark long tunnel but at the very end their is a light its the light of hope, that light of hope we symbalise with a white ribbon and this ribbon will be given as a gift at the demonstration , it will not stop until WE WIN. THATS ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE HURTING FROM THE COLD BLOODED ACTIONS OF THE SS thats right we are fighting back and not stopping till we win ,this week its cardiff next week its ten downing street dont be a part from it be a part of it.. now you will see actions working better than words .

    listen this is personel i have been though the same shit i have heard u very often in our hundreds of messages u all need a guidance so lets find some but we wont unless we all meet if we all move forward as one it thousands more stronger than one. they use the the devide and conquer tactic well not no more the voice is one, one of many my name is rich (rebel)

    Comment by john — 13 Jul 2006 on 2:09 am | Link

27. I get so angry as I am certrain that you all do to How ever picture this, its a dark long tunnel but at the very end their is a light its the light of hope, that light of hope we symbalise with a white ribbon and this ribbon will be given as a gift at the demonstration , it will not stop until WE WIN. THATS ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE HURTING FROM THE COLD BLOODED ACTIONS OF THE SS thats right we are fighting back and not stopping till we win ,this week its cardiff next week its ten downing street dont be a part from it be a part of it.. now you will see actions working better than words .

    listen this is personel i have been though the same shit i have heard u very often in our hundreds of messages u all need a guidance so lets find some but we wont unless we all meet if we all move forward as one it thousands more stronger than one. they use the the devide and conquer tactic well not no more the voice is one, one of many my name is rich (rebel)

    Comment by john — 13 Jul 2006 on 2:09 am | Link

28. DEMONSTARTION AT Cardiff Welsh Assembly Hall 17th july 1 pm join us and make a differance. the voices wont stop until they are quitened with victory.

    Comment by JOHN — 13 Jul 2006 on 2:23 am | Link

29. The court awarded a no contact order to my mother when I was a small child. I have not seen my father for about 30 years.

    I highly commend the court’s decision.

    I have been able to live a stable life, with no parents fighting, no ‘one weekend here and one weekend there’ etc.

    Out of interest I looked into where my father, his new wife and son were. They were living in some dreadful area of high deprivation, my half brother living a life of crime, with no job and no qualifications.

    Conversely I am a professional, and happily married with one son. I have 11 GCSEs, 3 A levels, a degree, a post graduate qualification and I am half way through an MA.

    I thank the lord for the speedy no contact order that me and my mum were granted when i was small as it did not damage my life chances in the way that the courts and CAFCASS are trying to damage my son’s by entertaining my agressive ex-husband’s excessive demands for contact.

    Bad parents are not better than no parents.

    Comment by TheCopta — 22 Jul 2006 on 10:35 am | Link

30. My boyfriend of two years has a little boy now aged 3 and a half. Him and his Ex had a round of court battles about his access to their son then aged 1 and a half. It was decided that he could see his son AT LEAST once every six weeks and in the beginning it was once a week at a local children’s playground.

    Then her and her new boyfriend (who consequently slashed my boyfriend’s tyres and repeatedly tried to start fights with him) moved up to Scotland. It then became a once every two weeks visit as it cost a lot of money to go up there regularly. It seemed to be an ok arrangement until she started cancelling, then we would be half way up to scotland and she’d cancel again.

    My boyfriend lost his job in that time and because of that was not obliged to pay child support. Because of this she cut off all contact. He now has a good job and is paying child support, but they have now moved house and wont tell us where they are. They have now got married and she told my boyfriend he was no longer alowed to be called Daddy. She has been slandering his name telling her husband that he used to beat her. This is fabricated and it has long been in our knowledge that she needs psychological help.

    Because the laws are different in scotland and we dont know where they are. What can we do? We have avoided all of her provoking including the time she pretended to be people we knew via email and tried to make me believe that my boyfriend was having an affair with them. The police said it was identity fraud and the emails were being sent from scotland. This childish behaviour has been ignored, and she is looking after a little boy. He just wants to see his son, and he has done nothing wrong. What can we do?

    The last set of legal fees came to \xA39000 and we cant afford that again, we cant get legal aid and the soliciter he used said he should give up, unless he wanted to loose his money his flat and everything. Please help.

    Comment by Roz — 15 Aug 2006 on 11:24 am | Link

31. i am a father and we should name and shame solicitors who help deprive children of their fathers. I do not beleive in this theory that they are only doing their jobs.some of them are completely without morals.

    Comment by MR FELICE GAITERI — 26 Aug 2006 on 10:45 pm | Link

32. Can any one advise me please,i split from my wife 9 months ago,i still live at home with my 10 year old son and my 20 year old step son,where do i stand as far as the house and my son are concerned,my ex has regular contact with her sons but his home is with me,any advice would be of a great help to me.

    Comment by Kevin — 31 Oct 2006 on 12:31 pm | Link

33. My son has not seen his 7 year old daughter for 6 years and 9 months due to her mother thinking she could get more from the state without him. They were not married.
    Now after all this time the CSA has decided to demand back payments for support

    How fair is this as he is being bullied by the faceless ones in suits and can do nothing about it?

    maw

    Comment by vina — 1 Dec 2006 on 1:49 pm | Link

34. i now have CSA on my back. i have not seen my so called son for 6 years and his mother would not let me see him.
    when we split up she was claiming child support as well as working full time.

    i refused to pay her a penny as she squandering the system
    i now have a debt collecting agency for the CSA wanting payments… (its a total joke)

    Comment by brooklyn — 9 Dec 2006 on 9:43 am | Link

35. i now have CSA on my back. i have not seen my so called son for 6 years and his mother would not let me see him.
    when we split up she was claiming child support as well as working full time.

    i refused to pay her a penny as she squandering the system
    i now have a debt collecting agency for the CSA wanting payments… (its a total joke)

    Comment by brooklyn — 9 Dec 2006 on 9:43 am | Link

36. The systems stinks, you cannot replace a Fathers role by Government benefits. The system has created monsters resembling preying mantis than human beings but its loving fathers that are treated as non- humans. When children grow up they will remember that you did your best.

    Good luck.
    A loving Auntie to three lovely children when I’m lucky enough to see them.

    Teresa Leto

    Comment by teresa leto — 9 Dec 2006 on 11:16 pm | Link

37. The systems stinks, you cannot replace a Fathers role by Government benefits. The system has created monsters resembling preying mantis than human beings but its loving fathers that are treated as non- humans. When children grow up they will remember that you did your best.

    Good luck.
    A loving Auntie to three lovely children when I’m lucky enough to see them.

    Teresa Leto

    Comment by teresa leto — 9 Dec 2006 on 11:16 pm | Link

38. Directed at Dave appearing on 17th april . I do hope things go well for you by the way. I am doing an assignment at college on equal rights in custody cases. I was hoping you could help me by telling me how things went for you with custody of your child. How you felt you were treated by the courts. What happened, if you felt the courts sided with the mother more than the father. If so in what areas and how.

    Comment by tricia — 7 Jan 2007 on 4:15 pm | Link

39. Fairly new to all this but slowly but surely realising that us the Law does not recognise Dads, only of course when it is financial! - Anyway, been having my gorgeous daughter now for two or three days a week, tuesdays/wed, saturday through to sunday. I do all the collecting and dropping off (more fool me!) My Ex has now decided to move out of the area with her new boyfriend twenty-six miles away, so from next week i’ll have a 52 mile/two hour round trip to collect her on tuesdays and the same to drop her off wednesday during rush hour, collecting and droping off saturday will probably be down to an hour as less traffic and the same returning her sunday. Is there anything I can do or insist on to save myself two hundred miles and six hours behind the wheel per week, I have suggested I have her friday night through sunday night, but my ex disputes the idea, says she’ll miss our daughter, although she didnt even ring to say hello when she managed a quick 10 days in spain with her new boyfriend when our daughter was left with me!- that sounds like sour grapes - its not we’ve both met new partners, it just makes my blood boil as she can just change her mind to suit herself! During mediation I was told there was no way a court would award a residency order to a Dad, unless something was seriously wrong with her mum. Anyone any suggestions? Best wishes, a very dissappointed in the system Dad!

    Comment by Matt Lee — 23 Jan 2007 on 6:35 pm | Link

40. Dear e-mailers, I am a woman from South Africa and I live with a father in the same position as you.

    I have been doing his paperwork and would like to say that the law is so finely tuned that you will never win in the famely court. I am very sure I have done everything in my power to try and therefore I am changing my strategy.

    Contact me if you are interested in talking about it or stay on these sites and never get anywhere. I have respect for fathers for justice but even the name gives away why you loose. You are male, you have rights, you are just fighting for the wrong rights in the wrong place.

    I cannot say my idea will work but this much I can say to you I am going to try and you have a choice please choose to try with me because this has never been attempted and it is a trail. However I believe it can work and am going to go all the way.

    Sue

    Comment by Sue — 12 Feb 2007 on 12:10 pm | Link

41. Dear e-mailers, I am a woman from South Africa and I live with a father in the same position as you.

    I have been doing his paperwork and would like to say that the law is so finely tuned that you will never win in the famely court. I am very sure I have done everything in my power to try and therefore I am changing my strategy.

    Contact me if you are interested in talking about it or stay on these sites and never get anywhere. I have respect for fathers for justice but even the name gives away why you loose. You are male, you have rights, you are just fighting for the wrong rights in the wrong place.

    I cannot say my idea will work but this much I can say to you I am going to try and you have a choice please choose to try with me because this has never been attempted and it is a trail. However I believe it can work and am going to go all the way.

    Sue

    Comment by Sue — 12 Feb 2007 on 12:10 pm | Link

42. Dear e-mailers, I am a woman from South Africa and I live with a father in the same position as you.

    I have been doing his paperwork and would like to say that the law is so finely tuned that you will never win in the famely court. I am very sure I have done everything in my power to try and therefore I am changing my strategy.

    Contact me if you are interested in talking about it or stay on these sites and never get anywhere. I have respect for fathers for justice but even the name gives away why you loose. You are male, you have rights, you are just fighting for the wrong rights in the wrong place.

    I cannot say my idea will work but this much I can say to you I am going to try and you have a choice please choose to try with me because this has never been attempted and it is a trail. However I believe it can work and am going to go all the way.

    Sue

    Comment by Sue — 12 Feb 2007 on 12:11 pm | Link

43. I appologise, my e-mail is partners4j@yahoo.co.uk

    Please contact me

    Sue

    Comment by Sue — 12 Feb 2007 on 12:13 pm | Link

44. To the person who is writing the article about equel rights, if you are interested I have an answer for you because I done my homework on the complete system and know what is wrong.

    The system is designed to support mothers only because it is a money method. There are many reasons why but money is the main one, fathers dont see theyre children because the concequences to this will have a very serious impact on the economie, who do you think is going to fund the bennefit mothers get.

    Anyway I can prove how I got to this so please contact me and I will explain in full.

    Regards

    Sue

    Comment by Sue — 12 Feb 2007 on 12:19 pm | Link

45. i split from hubby in 2001,court battle for 4 years,i stopped the battle,becouse of the damage he was doing to the children,social services said he was emotionally abbusing the kids,i passed with flying colours,he came out with everything,i had to prove myself every step (i did),i even had a medical to prove i was stable,what a joke,hes only got the kids becouse i wanted them he only gets upset when they bring trouble to the house,the boys 10,12 have asbos they got grounded for a day,my daugther is always in trouble with the police,i was a good mum,he tried to brain wash them,he is angry turned evil against me,now i was talking to them on msm,it was great,they have been talking about me to him,hes turned round now and said they cant call me mum,theve got to call me by my name,and if they talk to me on msm,there grounded,my daughter rang me last night and asked if i could come and get her she was in a state,i did he came over screaming and shouting,fighting my new hubby,infront of her,this was all over she wants to see her mum,she was in a state,shes scared of him,and the judge knew he was like this,at court judge was on my side but kept pussy futting round him,its a joke,my kids go through hell,dads, mums are parents,the kids used as weapons,makes me sick to the stomach,judges are useless you may aswell not have one,there suspossed to have power,they just let the parent whos got kids rule the court.

    Comment by debs — 13 May 2007 on 7:58 am | Link

46. well i am wodering if anyone can help me my brother has recently broken up with his partner which made both of us homeless due to court action as we both live together but all he ever wants is what is best for that child the mother is some one who is a deprecent and at the begging she would allow us to see the child but she come racing through one night and took the child off us because we took him to my nana’s and she thought that we had no insurance on the vechicle but the insurance certificate is present then and still is know but he has not seen the child since before christmas we see him (child) in town and she will not let us go antwere near him and at the moment there is nothing that we can do and i am wondering what is the legal ground that he stands on to see that child and does she have the right to stop him from seeing his child i thought that was only if you endanger that in any way and i now he misses that child and i am trying to find out as much info for him as i can so if anyone knows of any information or what legal ground he can stand in any way then plz email he is so emotional without that child he was the one that looked after him eveyday till they split up she didnt want to know thanx

    Comment by jaime — 24 May 2007 on 2:25 pm | Link

47. FATHERS 4 JUSTICE

    Comment by dave john — 22 Jun 2007 on 2:54 pm | Link

48. someone give me info on father for justice

    Comment by paul Nancy — 22 Jun 2007 on 2:57 pm | Link

49. i know lee

    Comment by dave john — 22 Jun 2007 on 3:00 pm | Link

50. i agree!!!

    Comment by bob jones — 26 Jun 2007 on 1:56 pm | Link

51. I was a former member of F4j,many thanks to you all involved, i now see my daughter. Unfortunately the feminest in the county of Hereford have taken a dislike to me, and have told anybody they see talking to me, to have nothing to do with me.These feminest have been stalking me for four years, and i have had evedence for the police, but they will do nothing!!I have also reported this to profesional standards, they told me to just to ignore these feminests who are stalking me.Has anybody got any advice, i will not move out of the county for any feminest.

    keep up the great work F4J, i will rejoin as soon as i get my next giro.

    Cheers

    Pete

    Comment by Pete — 1 Jul 2007 on 9:34 pm | Link

52. I was a former member of F4j,many thanks to you all involved, i now see my daughter. Unfortunately the feminest in the county of Hereford have taken a dislike to me, and have told anybody they see talking to me, to have nothing to do with me.These feminest have been stalking me for four years, and i have had evedence for the police, but they will do nothing!!I have also reported this to profesional standards, they told me to just to ignore these feminests who are stalking me.Has anybody got any advice, i will not move out of the county for any feminest.

    keep up the great work F4J, i will rejoin as soon as i get my next giro.

    Cheers

    Pete

    Comment by Pete — 1 Jul 2007 on 9:38 pm | Link

53. I was a former member of F4j,many thanks to you all involved, i now see my daughter. Unfortunately the feminest in the county of Hereford have taken a dislike to me, and have told anybody they see talking to me, to have nothing to do with me.These feminest have been stalking me for four years, and i have had evedence for the police, but they will do nothing!!I have also reported this to profesional standards, they told me to just to ignore these feminests who are stalking me.Has anybody got any advice, i will not move out of the county for any feminest.

    keep up the great work F4J, i will rejoin as soon as i get my next giro.

    Cheers

    Pete

    Comment by Pete — 1 Jul 2007 on 9:48 pm | Link

54. I am married to a man who has to pay a CSA debt five years after he thought he had finished paying. I feel that there are people who think that woman get an unfair deal with CSA, which I agree to, but some women don`t see how the man does too. The main enemny is CSA.I can sympathise for the woman and I can fight for my husband who has had an unfair deal aswell which in turn affects me. They seem to threaten the men who can be easily manipulated but the devious men are too much hard work. The devious men are then let off which gives a bad name to honest, well meaning men.

    My husband eventually paid the five year old debt which he had previously been told was cleared as the CSA threatened his Credit Rating.

    Black mail I think you call that.

    Comment by Melanie — 24 Nov 2007 on 6:59 pm | Link

55. In november 2007 my ex partener took my then 8 year old girl to america without my knowledge to see a guy who shed met off the internet. I discovered this when i went to pick my little girl up from school as arranged with my ex and she wasnt there shed gone to america to meet a guy shed never met before but had told her mother it was just a holiday. Then on boxing day i was told by her father she had married this guy and was planning to stay in america with my little girl, i had no contact with my daughter from the day they went till the beginning of may when my ex let my little girl talk to me on the net. My little girl doesnt like it where she is and has asked to come home, it is killing me to see her like this but what do you tell your daughter when the law says what my ex has done is right and i havent got a leg to stand on.I have been told that my ex is applying for a visa to stay ther permanantly as her 6 mnths is up which i dont want to happen as i would like to see my little girl again and dont want to miss her growing up.I am a good father and have been in her life from day 1 me and my ex were together for ten years but when we split(her decision)she became bitter and wanted to hurt me well she did a good job.Anyone who may have any information that could help me please get in touch as i would be greatful thanks.

    Comment by richard — 2 Jun 2008 on 12:07 pm | Link

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