» Monday, September 13, 2004

Fathers’ Rights

Asked for a reaction to this afternoon’s demonstration at Buckingham Palace by Fathers 4 Justice, the Prime Minister’s Official Spokesman (PMOS) said everyone would accept that the issue of fathers’ rights was very difficult and complex. Clearly, it involved strong emotions and huge sensitivities and it therefore had to be handled in a sensitive way. In the Government’s view, the child’s interests were paramount. Thus, where it was safe to do so, children should have contact with both their parents. The dilemma arose when such a situation was deemed to be impossible or was not happening for whatever reason. That was why the Government had been talking to all those involved in the issue, including Fathers 4 Justice. As we had always made clear, we did not believe that demonstrations like the one today helped to address the full complexity of the problem. Asked if he thought such protests tarnished the case, the PMOS said that that was for others to judge. That said, given the full complexity of this issue, it could not be reduced to random events. It had to be considered in the round. In our view it was a matter for thoughtful dialogue. We believed that these issues were best addressed through facilitation between the former partners. We recognised that there were huge difficulties when that did not occur, but such an option had to be carefully considered, not dealt with by events like the one today.

Briefing took place at 15:45 | Search for related news

85 Comments »

  1. Nicola – I completely understand, and I don’t think that at all. And I totally agree that when the mother has put hard work into looking after her children, and the father has put absolutely no effort into helping, then he cannot just come in and out of the child’s life whenever he feels like it.

    However, in this case it was the father that put the effort into raising us both. It was my father that taught us, it was him that taught my brother how to swim, ride a bike, etc. And yet he they don’t even seem to believe him – despite the fact that I am backing him up.

    Indeed, every case must be treated with care, but this case.. well… is a perfect example of biased in the courts, several times over. If only I could talk about the details of the matter in more depth.

    Comment by Sarah Poulton-Smith — 26 Feb 2007 on 5:59 pm | Link
  2. Indeed, every case is individual, and should be treated that way, and if needed helth visiters could maybe observe what is going on at home. The courts should listen to what the children that are involved want too, and not just decide for themselves what action should be taken ‘in the child’s best interest’.

    My ex gets out of bed about midday, and goes to bed about 4 am, as he has already put himself on ‘Canadian time’. As his girlfriend is 4 hours behind, midday here is only 8am there, 3am here 11pm there. He doesn’t work and instead recieved incapacity benefit for reasons that are unknown to me.. litterally, i have absolutly no idea what is wrong with him! bone-idle-itis maybe? (I have put his pc in one of the cupboards, and he stays in there ALL DAY. Seriously, from the minute he gets up, to when he goes to bed, he even eats at the pc.)

    Ooooh it is so frustrating I can’t just scream it out on here. I would like to sort things out ”amicably”, but if he asks for access that is just out of the qustion then unfortunatly it may have to go to the courts.

    I am all for fathers voices being heard.. but it’s the hanful of ‘fathers’ who just push the campaign a little too far and expect more than they really need or deserve who frustrate me. It’s horrible how there are cases where custody/rights/access cases can get nasty. I work voluntry a few hours a week at a nursery as part of my course, and I have seen the effect it has on children. Trouble is.. my son doen’t know any different unfortunatly, as it has gone on for far too long.. I just hope he doesn’t grow up to think this is how normal families fuction, as he may just carry it on to his own family one day..

    Comment by Nicola — 27 Feb 2007 on 12:57 am | Link
  3. Indeed, every case is individual, and should be treated that way, and if needed helth visiters could maybe observe what is going on at home. The courts should listen to what the children that are involved want too, and not just decide for themselves what action should be taken ‘in the child’s best interest’.

    My ex gets out of bed about midday, and goes to bed about 4 am, as he has already put himself on ‘Canadian time’. As his girlfriend is 4 hours behind, midday here is only 8am there, 3am here 11pm there. He doesn’t work and instead recieved incapacity benefit for reasons that are unknown to me.. litterally, i have absolutly no idea what is wrong with him! bone-idle-itis maybe? (I have put his pc in one of the cupboards, and he stays in there ALL DAY. Seriously, from the minute he gets up, to when he goes to bed, he even eats at the pc.)

    Ooooh it is so frustrating I can’t just scream it out on here. I would like to sort things out ”amicably”, but if he asks for access that is just out of the qustion then unfortunatly it may have to go to the courts.

    I am all for fathers voices being heard.. but it’s the hanful of ‘fathers’ who just push the campaign a little too far and expect more than they really need or deserve who frustrate me. It’s horrible how there are cases where custody/rights/access cases can get nasty. I work voluntry a few hours a week at a nursery as part of my course, and I have seen the effect it has on children. Trouble is.. my son doen’t know any different unfortunatly, as it has gone on for far too long.. I just hope he doesn’t grow up to think this is how normal families fuction, as he may just carry it on to his own family one day..

    Comment by Nicola — 27 Feb 2007 on 12:58 am | Link
  4. (Sorry about the repeat.. Java Scipt was disabled, and my post didn’t show up)

    Comment by Nicola — 27 Feb 2007 on 1:01 am | Link
  5. http://rattube.com/blog1/2007/02/26/the-smoking-gun-wtc7-bbc-jumps-the-gun/

    http://www.prisonplanet.com/articles/february2007/260207building7.htm
    http://www.prisonplanet.com/articles/february2007/270207trustanything.htm

    The BBC reported that World Trade Centre Building 7 collapsed – 20 minutes before it actually happened! How is this possible unless the BBC had prior knowledge? Please watch the videos and judge for yourself. This is dynamite!!

    Comment by BBC-Busted!! — 28 Feb 2007 on 6:37 am | Link
  6. Hi My name is Jason. I last had contact with my child (BOY)7yrs ago. I have recently received a call from my ex-wife asking me if I would like to meet my son. I jumped to this. To my amazment when I meet her at the destination of her choice who was there with her. Her Father, Step Mother, Sister and Brother inlaw. I felt very uncomfortable and hardly spoke to my SON. She after 1 and a half hours informed me that my SON would like more contact and 4hours on a Saturday would be a good start, this I agreed. I later found out that the four hours of this time with my SON she also would be present. I was all for the idea untill she put herself in the picture. I am living with my partner and young child at the moment and this whole situation has an effect on my partner. I want to have contact with my (now 10yr old) SON, but I do-not want the ex-wife to be around or even be in the same company as her. The 7yrs away from my SON has tore a hole in part of me and it was done by her taken the child away from me and moving to parts of the country that I didnt know exsited. How do I go about legal proceedures and parental rights through the courts

    Comment by Jason — 1 Mar 2007 on 1:34 am | Link
  7. Back in 1991 i worked with children for derby city council, i was good. I worked with problem youth. My ex wife started beating our 2 year old son. Her GP, a phsicatrist and myself had to call in child protection and so we all did. As the children where mix race (black) political racial politics came to the fore and not child protection at all. My ex partners brother "WAS" a social worker at the time. My ex and her family are black. 2 black social workers came to investigate the abuse that hapend to my son. Things where twisted and turned, all of a suden i am "put out to dry" and falsly accused of abuse, what the ex wife HAD DONE was coverd up, thanks to her brother and friends of her family, the social workers who came to investigate. I was cutt off from my kids, locked up, lost my job, lost my family and lost my home. ALL THANKS TO CLEVER PROPHETIONAL LIERS! 13 years later the S.S write to me letters of apology that what they did was wrong and i recieved compensation BUT what of the kids? Fatherless and damaged indeed.
    THIS IS A TRUE STORY!
    sheeroee@yahoo.com
    Freddie
    the ex’s brother was chucked out of social work, he is now a private practise hypnotist in derby, GOD HELP US!

    Comment by Freddie O'Neill — 6 Mar 2007 on 12:12 pm | Link
  8. See, there’s me harping on about fathers wanting more ‘rights’ than they deserve and so on, but in all honesty I completely forgot to say that there are some mothers out there that abuse the fact that they usually have the custody of the children over their father. And for the children to be placed with the father, or taken from her, she usually has to be pretty messed up. I would seriously love to be a social worker, I know very well it can be tough, but I have checked the fees for the courses, and it’s just something I cannot do.
    Anyway.. I think it is pretty messed up that the system should favour the mother of the children and not take time to consider the facts. I know someone who works for ‘Home Start’, and one of her new refereals is a young mum, was a drug addict 3 years ago, and is now an ex-drug addict. Now, they are deciding to take action and are trying to take away her child, and although they ask for reports from people who support her such as the health visitor etc.. they are powerless over the social services who have the final say.

    I think this topic of access issues will be talked about for many years to come. it’s just such a messy subject.

    Comment by Nicola — 6 Mar 2007 on 10:58 pm | Link
  9. I was with my partner for 12yrs, things were bad from the beginning but I tried to make the relationship work for the girls sake my 9yr old and my 10yr old, but after her lying and cheating throughout the relationship I had to leave her,I so wanted to see my girls on a regular basis but after 7months she still refuses me access to them, Ive been to the lawyers but because we weren’t married I have no rights, because I dont want her anymore she wont let me see my girls, whenever I contact her or appaoach her she calls the police, I dont know what to do next, I send lawyers letters regularly asking for contact but all I get back from her lawyer is a letter stating that its in not in the best interests of the girls to have contact with me, she has lied to police saying I have abused her and its just not true all I want is to see my girls, the only thing I have done wrong is not want her anymore.

    Comment by steven sorley — 13 Mar 2007 on 10:56 pm | Link
  10. I was with my partner for 12yrs, things were bad from the beginning but I tried to make the relationship work for the girls sake my 9yr old and my 10yr old, but after her lying and cheating throughout the relationship I had to leave her,I so wanted to see my girls on a regular basis but after 7months she still refuses me access to them, Ive been to the lawyers but because we weren’t married I have no rights, because I dont want her anymore she wont let me see my girls, whenever I contact her or appaoach her she calls the police, I dont know what to do next, I send lawyers letters regularly asking for contact but all I get back from her lawyer is a letter stating that its in not in the best interests of the girls to have contact with me, she has lied to police saying I have abused her and its just not true all I want is to see my girls, the only thing I have done wrong is not want her anymore.

    Comment by steven sorley — 13 Mar 2007 on 10:57 pm | Link
  11. I was with my partner for 12yrs, things were bad from the beginning but I tried to make the relationship work for the girls sake my 9yr old and my 10yr old, but after her lying and cheating throughout the relationship I had to leave her,I so wanted to see my girls on a regular basis but after 7months she still refuses me access to them, Ive been to the lawyers but because we weren’t married I have no rights, because I dont want her anymore she wont let me see my girls, whenever I contact her or appaoach her she calls the police, I dont know what to do next, I send lawyers letters regularly asking for contact but all I get back from her lawyer is a letter stating that its in not in the best interests of the girls to have contact with me, she has lied to police saying I have abused her and its just not true all I want is to see my girls, the only thing I have done wrong is not want her anymore.

    Comment by steven sorley — 13 Mar 2007 on 11:01 pm | Link
  12. I am 23 year old final student who has a 4 yr old son.I have not seen my son for over a year now as his mother has kicked me out of his life. I used to look after him every weekend and he enjoyed every minute he spent with me. His mother is now married and also has two children with the father. my son calls me andy now when he sees me and does not know im his dad. I did everything i did, i have n legal parental responsibility, tried mediation and left with court.whils at uni i work large amounts of hours to pay for it as i dont have a student load as i dont want the debt. as a result of working hard to avoide debt and be responsible, im not entitled to legal aid because i earn money for uni. makes no sense. i used to give the mother money too each month but stopped with access.
    people on these sites are constatnly moaning abouth the childs welfare. the children need their dads more than just needing money. money means nothing to bringing the child up when the dad is not allowed any involvement. my son is uffering not through me giving any money but from not seeing me. I am suffering too!

    Comment by ANDY — 14 Mar 2007 on 7:42 pm | Link
  13. I am 23 year old final student who has a 4 yr old son.I have not seen my son for over a year now as his mother has kicked me out of his life. I used to look after him every weekend and he enjoyed every minute he spent with me. His mother is now married and also has two children with the father. my son calls me andy now when he sees me and does not know im his dad. I did everything i did, i have n legal parental responsibility, tried mediation and left with court.whils at uni i work large amounts of hours to pay for it as i dont have a student load as i dont want the debt. as a result of working hard to avoide debt and be responsible, im not entitled to legal aid because i earn money for uni. makes no sense. i used to give the mother money too each month but stopped with access.
    people on these sites are constatnly moaning abouth the childs welfare. the children need their dads more than just needing money. money means nothing to bringing the child up when the dad is not allowed any involvement. my son is uffering not through me giving any money but from not seeing me. I am suffering too!

    Comment by ANDY — 14 Mar 2007 on 7:45 pm | Link
  14. i think in these times it is disgusting a mother can go to court claiming i was violent and aggressive towards her and my three beautiful children accused me of being unfaithfull when it was her stopped me seeing my children without any evidence. social services or nobody asked me my side of the story, i seen my children for six hours at a contact centre my wife stopped that claiming i told the children i was dying of cancer i now have to reapply at emense cost to see them. i have asked social services to hear my side the truth they are not interested where is the juistice. i love my children dearly my health and career is suffering badly because of this farce only people benefits is solicitors karl

    Comment by karl donald — 25 Mar 2007 on 5:57 pm | Link
  15. i think in these times it is disgusting a mother can go to court claiming i was violent and aggressive towards her and my three beautiful children accused me of being unfaithfull when it was her stopped me seeing my children without any evidence. social services or nobody asked me my side of the story, i seen my children for six hours at a contact centre my wife stopped that claiming i told the children i was dying of cancer i now have to reapply at emense cost to see them. i have asked social services to hear my side the truth they are not interested where is the juistice. i love my children dearly my health and career is suffering badly because of this farce only people benefits is solicitors karl

    Comment by karl donald — 25 Mar 2007 on 5:57 pm | Link
  16. I feel there are plenty of good fathers that do get screwed by there wives or girlfriends, and most fathers should have eaqual rights of visitation and choices. off the subject somewhat though. what do you think is more healthy for a childs mindset in years tocome. to have a father who lives 6 hours away and calls quite irregular, tends to make promises he cannot keep and tries to say nasty things about the boys stepfather. whom is actually great and treats theboys as his own. he has been more of a father then the biological one has.. do I just ingnore his calls so i do not have to wathc my boys agony any longer. or do i let them keep a inconsistent unhealthy relationship with him..when they already have a good one with the stepfather? If my ex-husband would be consistent and not so angry and hateful I would not care, but he is not. and has not seen them for over a year.

    Comment by Arnel — 22 Apr 2007 on 10:51 pm | Link
  17. I feel there are plenty of good fathers that do get screwed by there wives or girlfriends, and most fathers should have eaqual rights of visitation and choices. off the subject somewhat though. what do you think is more healthy for a childs mindset in years tocome. to have a father who lives 6 hours away and calls quite irregular, tends to make promises he cannot keep and tries to say nasty things about the boys stepfather. whom is actually great and treats theboys as his own. he has been more of a father then the biological one has.. do I just ingnore his calls so i do not have to wathc my boys agony any longer. or do i let them keep a inconsistent unhealthy relationship with him..when they already have a good one with the stepfather? If my ex-husband would be consistent and not so angry and hateful I would not care, but he is not. and has not seen them for over a year.

    Comment by Arnel — 22 Apr 2007 on 10:52 pm | Link
  18. Hi everyone wow there is alot of mixed feelings here.. well i would just like to say a few things to all the bitter mothers who think they r being hard done by because the father dont pay..

    think twice before you have another child because they do cost money, life would be great if we all met mr or mrs perfect had a child and lived happy ever after but it dont work like that im afraid. when you have a child you are acepting the responsibilty of that child and that included the cost of bringing the child up and we all know that cost thousands. if your parner died you couldnt go to his grave and pick up the odd \xA3100 here and there could you? when you have a child you acept that your relaionship might or might not work… forget the bitterness with your ex partners and think about the children.. your child will grow up to be a far better happier person if both his/her perants are on good terms and can communicate without the bitterness.
    the mother dont let the father see the child the fathers then thinks "why should i pay"… its a visous circle.. both perants need to sit down and have a good think about how they r behaving and sort it out for the childrens sake.
    in my own expierence i have be guilty of holding bitterness after all we are all human.. but it really isnt the way.. the way to happyness with you your ex and your child is to be resonable and to have an educated approuch to the situation your in.

    dads4rights

    Comment by Danny Young — 25 Apr 2007 on 1:10 pm | Link
  19. I have read the blogg up to date and really feel that I need to make a point. I am divorced and have three children. My youngest was 18 months old when we split up. I have always supported contact with their father even though he has not at times been interested. These times usually coincide with the arrival of a new girl friend on the scene. to maintain contact I have taken the children and picked them up from my ex’s address just so he would see them. I dont really now what happens when the children are there, but frequently they have come home upset about one thing or an other nothing serious, but it has been evident that contact was a chore not a pleasure. Even though I made them go, because I felt they needed to establish a perspective and relationship with their father, my eldest who is 12 now, and youngest 10, after many years of being let down (there have been gaps of months and years when my ex did not see them, his choice not mine)have decided together that enough is enough. My ex has returned after two years and has taken me to court for a contact order, not speaking to me about it knowing that I have always supported him. He has not ever ‘abused’ them is not a drinker or takes drugs, but his inconsideration, lack of respect and understanding to the the kids has made them not want to see him. So fathers for justice, just before you deflame all women, we are not all insensitive, manipulative people, some of us have gone out of our way to try to keep a relationship going, and to do right by the kids. i do not want them to feel rejected, or feel I have let them down when they are older. So what about them? What should they do? and what should I do? Drag them kicking and screaming over to his house? From reading the above mail it appears to me that there are many disgruntled fathers who seem to tar all women with the same brush as the very small minority. The majority of women put aside their feelings for their exs because they love their children and want the best for them. How many men actually consider the children instead of their own feelings? And how many fathers actually respect their ex’s and what they are doing? Food for thought. Fathers do have rights, but consider this, if they had established a close loving relationship with their children before they left, nothing would keep their children away from them.

    Comment by toni — 29 May 2007 on 10:08 pm | Link
  20. I have read the blogg up to date and really feel that I need to make a point. I am divorced and have three children. My youngest was 18 months old when we split up. I have always supported contact with their father even though he has not at times been interested. These times usually coincide with the arrival of a new girl friend on the scene. to maintain contact I have taken the children and picked them up from my ex’s address just so he would see them. I dont really now what happens when the children are there, but frequently they have come home upset about one thing or an other nothing serious, but it has been evident that contact was a chore not a pleasure. Even though I made them go, because I felt they needed to establish a perspective and relationship with their father, my eldest who is 12 now, and youngest 10, after many years of being let down (there have been gaps of months and years when my ex did not see them, his choice not mine)have decided together that enough is enough. My ex has returned after two years and has taken me to court for a contact order, not speaking to me about it knowing that I have always supported him. He has not ever ‘abused’ them is not a drinker or takes drugs, but his inconsideration, lack of respect and understanding to the the kids has made them not want to see him. So fathers for justice, just before you deflame all women, we are not all insensitive, manipulative people, some of us have gone out of our way to try to keep a relationship going, and to do right by the kids. i do not want them to feel rejected, or feel I have let them down when they are older. So what about them? What should they do? and what should I do? Drag them kicking and screaming over to his house? From reading the above mail it appears to me that there are many disgruntled fathers who seem to tar all women with the same brush as the very small minority. The majority of women put aside their feelings for their exs because they love their children and want the best for them. How many men actually consider the children instead of their own feelings? And how many fathers actually respect their ex’s and what they are doing? Food for thought. Fathers do have rights, but consider this, if they had established a close loving relationship with their children before they left, nothing would keep their children away from them.

    Comment by toni — 29 May 2007 on 10:09 pm | Link
  21. hi toni, im not deflaming women infact would you believe i have more female members of dads4rights than men. i would also like to point out that dads4rights is nothing to do with fathers4justice althou i have attended thier meetings from time to time and think they are very good.
    you say your ex lets your children down well not all fathers are reliable but you must of loved him to have children with him. your 2 ealdist children are of an age where they can decide for themselves if they wish to see him or not as i remeber not wanting to see my father when i was 11 and the welfare stopped him. in most cases and im not saying this is in your case most women use the children as a weapons to get back at there ex partner. i dont know your ex so i cant comment but im sure he loves his children, some men are less committed but it doesnt mean they forget of dont love them. i love my child with all my heart i would give my life for her tomorrow as would any loving parent i have always loved her, so no you are wrong in that if a father loves his kids he wont be denied contact because we are. but things are changing, we are making a difference its forums peoples comments and commitment that will bring us to victory and hopfully both parents wil have equal rights to there children. and yes toni i agree with you not all men are good fathers and i am all for a father being denied contact if he is a danger or a threat to his children, i also believe that a father should be polite and respect his ex when dealing with issues and contact. to many fathers think they still own or belong to there ex partner even years after the breakup. its men like that who create the problems for all the good fathers out there. as i said before its about our children not us. if there is any hope of working things out without court then i would say that is the far better option.

    Comment by danny young — 8 Jul 2007 on 6:28 pm | Link
  22. hi toni, im not deflaming women infact would you believe i have more female members of dads4rights than men. i would also like to point out that dads4rights is nothing to do with fathers4justice althou i have attended thier meetings from time to time and think they are very good.
    you say your ex lets your children down well not all fathers are reliable but you must of loved him to have children with him. your 2 ealdist children are of an age where they can decide for themselves if they wish to see him or not as i remeber not wanting to see my father when i was 11 and the welfare stopped him. in most cases and im not saying this is in your case most women use the children as a weapons to get back at there ex partner. i dont know your ex so i cant comment but im sure he loves his children, some men are less committed but it doesnt mean they forget of dont love them. i love my child with all my heart i would give my life for her tomorrow as would any loving parent i have always loved her, so no you are wrong in that if a father loves his kids he wont be denied contact because we are. but things are changing, we are making a difference its forums peoples comments and commitment that will bring us to victory and hopfully both parents wil have equal rights to there children. and yes toni i agree with you not all men are good fathers and i am all for a father being denied contact if he is a danger or a threat to his children, i also believe that a father should be polite and respect his ex when dealing with issues and contact. to many fathers think they still own or belong to there ex partner even years after the breakup. its men like that who create the problems for all the good fathers out there. as i said before its about our children not us. if there is any hope of working things out without court then i would say that is the far better option.

    Comment by danny young — 8 Jul 2007 on 6:29 pm | Link
  23. I am amazed at the number of people on here who are thinking about ‘their rights’ rather than the welfare of their children! Surely the government should be bearing the child’s welfare in mind first and foremost. I am 19 weeks pregnant and am already in negotiations with the father over what he wants. He lives five hours away, has no experience of children, no friends (or friends with children) and lives on a farm that he claims makes no money (even with subsidies). He expects that I would agree to the child being hauled five hours one way and five hours the other throughout it’s childhood for two weekly visits (or I suppose whatever he feels up to). Not once has he made any useful or thoughtful contributions to the pregnancy or planning for the arrival of the baby. He is not a bad man per se, but does let his own emotions and wants get in the way of logical and active solutions to child welfare. His claim is that he can be just as effective a father five hours away as he could be if he were just down the road. I beg to differ! I am certain, like my own experience, that many women feel similarly (though do acknowledge that there are those who let their emotions get the better of them), that often their requests for contributions, and other practical help are not designed for their benefit, but for that of their child. Mothers are not intrinsically selfish, but selfless. If men were to respond with this in mind, leave their egos and wants on the shelf and put the child first and foremost in their agendas then it might be possible that the mothers would respond accordingly. Being pregnant I feel extremely protective to my unborn child and will only do what I feel is constructive and good for them when the time comes and not what somebody else wants for their own self satisfaction.

    Comment by Caroline — 15 Aug 2007 on 1:02 pm | Link
  24. I am amazed at the number of people on here who are thinking about ‘their rights’ rather than the welfare of their children! Surely the government should be bearing the child’s welfare in mind first and foremost. I am 19 weeks pregnant and am already in negotiations with the father over what he wants. He lives five hours away, has no experience of children, no friends (or friends with children) and lives on a farm that he claims makes no money (even with subsidies). He expects that I would agree to the child being hauled five hours one way and five hours the other throughout it’s childhood for two weekly visits (or I suppose whatever he feels up to). Not once has he made any useful or thoughtful contributions to the pregnancy or planning for the arrival of the baby. He is not a bad man per se, but does let his own emotions and wants get in the way of logical and active solutions to child welfare. His claim is that he can be just as effective a father five hours away as he could be if he were just down the road. I beg to differ! I am certain, like my own experience, that many women feel similarly (though do acknowledge that there are those who let their emotions get the better of them), that often their requests for contributions, and other practical help are not designed for their benefit, but for that of their child. Mothers are not intrinsically selfish, but selfless. If men were to respond with this in mind, leave their egos and wants on the shelf and put the child first and foremost in their agendas then it might be possible that the mothers would respond accordingly. Being pregnant I feel extremely protective to my unborn child and will only do what I feel is constructive and good for them when the time comes and not what somebody else wants for their own self satisfaction.

    Comment by Caroline — 15 Aug 2007 on 1:30 pm | Link
  25. i posted a comment on 25 march about my prediciment i have yet to see my children on 22 aug i met up with family court officer she told me she couldnt recommend contact yet as i was a violent alcoholic and if she went against judge he would swipe the carpet below her feet the following day i went to family court and met family court officer she said good morning karl i replied good morning muppet i spent the next 9 days in maghaberry prison for contempt of court i never once was violent in my marriage to wife or chidren i do drink occasionally but the whole point of family contact centres are a supervised meeting place free from alcohol or drunkness my mental health is suffering more karl

    Comment by karl donald — 3 Nov 2007 on 12:19 am | Link
  26. hi my name is dave what it is my ex girlfriend had my child jst over a mont5h ago erm her other ex has jst cum out of prison she wont let me see my child she brings him down to my house when see arrives she turns round and says ur not havin him now i was wondering what sort of action can be taken against her
    thanks david hall

    Comment by david hall — 2 Mar 2008 on 12:48 pm | Link
  27. My best mate is paying the CSA for a son who he has never met his son is around sixteen years old now i feel for him surely he should be entitled to know where his son is and for his son to know his father i am disgusted what advice could anyone give him i am a father and i could not go through what he is he’s a good friend

    Comment by sean — 17 Mar 2008 on 7:10 pm | Link
  28. Try dealing with an awkward ex that uses your kid to there advantage. If she doesn’t get her own way I am stopped from seeing my kid. I have had to fight a costly battle to get PR. I still get the abuses every week when I go to pick my kid up. Still get the threats that shes going to stop me from seeing her. my kids getting pyscholigal issues from this. She’s claiming benefits, im working. I cant afford another costly court batter where she can cause she’s claiming legal aid. All these politicians get paid so well that they dont have to worry about that ever happening to them. There should be a system in place where fathers shouldn’t have to pay out due to a stubborn ex not getting her own way. Why should we have to pay the expensive court fee’s? Why is she entitled to legal aid when all she does is sponge of the government all the time? Think us guys got the short straw??????? I just have my daughters best interests at heart and i have a twisted ex minipulating the situation constantley.

    Comment by Asher — 30 Apr 2008 on 3:09 pm | Link
  29. I am now in the seventh year of what has become an impossible battle to spend time with my two boys. I have been represented by four different solicitors from three law fims, yet not one has challenged the false allegations made against me.
    Allegations that have been repeatedly used to block contact. Recently my ex’s solicitor has even refused to supply my ex’s mobile number to a freelance social worker now involved for the second time and even held up paper work vital to said social worker becoming involved.
    How can any one believe that things are changing in the family injustice system, when the very people controlling it are so readily flouting court orders and allowing their clients to do so also?
    When I asked my own solicitor to make an official complaint I didn’t even get a reply.
    What the hell am I to do? Are there any ethical law firms involved in the family injustice system?
    As for reports that judges are getting tougher on mothers who block contact, Where the hell are they?
    A fathers only option is to take direct action against solicitors,judges,courts,cafcass and parliament.
    There are now hundreds of thousands of dads who have been unjustly treated. Stand together, they cannot stop us!!!

    Comment by mick roper — 25 May 2008 on 2:13 am | Link
  30. hi it seems alot of you are concerned about your rights as a father yet i have posted a number of post on here with my website address http://www.dads4rights.co.uk and yet not one man has even joined our group.
    how can we win if we do not stand together.
    dads4rights is 100% free
    join today leave a post in out forum..

    lets be heard.

    Comment by Danny Young — 1 Jul 2008 on 2:18 pm | Link
  31. I am a 14 year old. When i was 3 my mum and dad split up, my dad was not allowed to see me nor my brothers and we were brainwashed into thinking he was effectively “evil”. This goverment is completely useless. It is incompident to understand the permanent damage it is inflicting onto children in a psychologically sense. In my case, i have lost respect for the people on my mums side of the family who “slagged” him off as now i have developed my own mind and i understand that it is not there place to be saying such stuff. I have kinda lost respect for them actually.

    I URGED ANY FATHERS TO NOT GIVE UP TRYING AND CONTACT YOU MP!!!

    Comment by Jack — 16 Aug 2008 on 8:29 pm | Link
  32. REF POST 21 – My daughter found me, I was so far off the mark in tracing her. Any way, now that my daughter as become a finacial burden to my Ex-Wife, my daughter now lives with me and my wonderful second wife. God help the man that ends up spending his days with my Ex-Wife.

    Good luck to you all, my thoughts, prayers and wishes are with you.

    Comment by Ian Calcroft — 4 Sep 2008 on 1:50 pm | Link
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